Easter Pictures 2010

Family picture...

Is there any candy in there bubby?

My three favorite people...

sweet Lily...she wouldn't be still for a picture

My little stud...too cute!

Excited about chocolate, just like his mommy!

Easter Lily...

Needing to share...

Ok, bare with me...I have had so many thoughts flowing through my head lately and just feel compelled to share. I really have been moved to tears so frequently lately and so randomly. Or at least what I call random. I know nothing is really random but ordained by God. For example I will just be driving and be listening to a song that I have heard a thousand times before and suddenly I am hearing it in a new way and am in tears. One of the songs that this happened with is the the song, "I Can Only Imagine" by Mercy Me. And I know this has probably been overplayed, over used, etc.. but listening to it last week, I heard it completely different. For the first time I really pictured myself in front of God asking the questions in the lyrics.

"Surrounded by your Glory, what will my heart feel.

Will I dance for you Jesus, or in honor of you be still

Will I stand in your presence or to my knees will I fall

Will I sing hallelujah, will I be able to speak at all, I can only Imagine."

I immediately just started crying picturing myself with my Creator and thinking how could I ever thank Him enough for the blessings in my life. Lily was the only one in the car with me so of course I just thought back to her past 18 months and how I could ever go before God and put into words what he did for me by healing her and growing her so perfectly when all odds were against her. I believe completely that all children are a gift. All are custom made by God and unique in their own way. But there is something about being with Lily, watching her walk and run, looking into her amazing blue eyes when she is making a funny face, seeing her interact with her big brother, and just realizing that if it weren't for our gracious God, she would not be here. Period.

And while thinking about this I am feeling the weight of my own sin so much. Wondering why am I not just on my knees praising Him constantly. Why am I not racing every morning to get into my Bible to find out more about this amazing God who has been so gracious to me. I don't really know the answer other than I am human and crave humanly desires. I don't even know why all of this is coming out now. I just feel God is working in me and trying to teach me or tell me something. I can only hope and pray that I will have ears to listen and that I will be obedient to follow. Which is partly why I am sharing this. I should be doing other things while my house is actually quiet for a moment but just felt compelled to share.

Many people have said I should write a book about my experience with Lily. While I am flattered by that, I am by no means a writer. I simply write what i feel. However I often think I just wish my brain were a type writer. I wish I could just push the print button and all the thoughts in my head would just print out. It is always when I am in the car or in the middle of something that I feel God speaking to me or reminding me of moments that I should put into words but I usually don't have the time or make the time to do it. We started this blog to inform you about Lily's progress, but it quickly became my way to release all that I was feeling emotionally, spiritually, and physically and was my stress relief.

So maybe I'm writing this to myself to say enough with the words and good thoughts. Put them into action. Get into the Word more, pray more, be more bold in my everyday life and routine. And simply stop putting limits on what God can do with and through me. Who knows? But I do know that NOTHING is impossible with God. Whatever you are experiencing when you read this, I pray that you know the peace, joy, and unconditional love that only comes from knowing Jesus. And that with Him you can get through anything that comes your way.

Have a great day!

Thomas' 4th Birthday Party

Checking out the stats...

Check out this shot...

Having fun...

His cake...yes, that is pink icing...not really sure what happened there??? I mean, surely they knew the name Thomas was a boy??? I didn't see it until we opened the box at the bowling alley!!

Thomas and his cute friends had a blast at his bowling party. It was only the second time Thomas had bowled. It was too cute watching all these little guys bowl! It was so low key and I had nothing to clean, etc!

Lily is excited about the drums...while visiting our friends in Texas last week she tried Cole's drumset out!

Too tempting not to touch...

Enjoying Thomas' birthday doughnut breakfast...

Sorry it has taken me so long to update you all on Lily. Thank you all so much for all of your prayers, emails, and words of encouragement, etc... We really appreciate it so much. I know each of you has your own daily needs, struggles, and prayer requests, so I'm really touched when you take the time to pray for Lily and check in on us.

So, knock on wood, she is doing much much better! Not really sure what exactly happened. Her angel of a doctor from Texas mentioned for me to try some things, like splitting her night time bottle, trying pediasure and mixing instant breakfast into her milk instead of formula, and since doing those things she really has been better. I don't know if it was coincidence, or if Lily just likes it better, or if she is just physically better. Who knows, but I'll take it! Her tests were both normal but we go back to the GI doctor this Thursday for follow-up. Thanks so much for praying so specifically for this. Definitely working so keep it up!

She is constantly sporting the bruised head and/or face look these days. This week alone she had her first black eye and several bruises on her forehead and cheeks. We think big brother had something to do with the black eye. He reportedly stacked his big euro pillows up so she could climb on his bed. I think they were "jumping" and she fell off. I know it sounds like I left them forever. But I promise, I was only 7 feet away and it all happened in less than 5 minutes! She is very independent and determined and such a little dare devil. She climbs anything she thinks she can fit in or on and lately likes to push over the dining room chairs which make a very scary loud thud! There is definitely not a dull moment while she is awake!

She is very quickly becoming a little toddler instead of my little baby girl. Kind of sad but I did get to have a "little" baby for much longer than normal. Oh, and she has gained weight! When we went to the doctor on March 2nd, she weighed 17lbs 4oz! So pumped about that!

Thanks again for all of your prayers and support. I pray you all are doing well and have a wonderful day!

Happy 4th Birthday Thomas!

Thomas at 5 days old!

Thomas...First birthday1


Thomas...Two years old!

Thomas...Third birthday

Happy 4th birthday!!!

opening his walkie talkies...

Birthday morning with Krispie Cream!

Happy Birthday to my sweet Thomas! I can't even believe that he is already 4 years old!! Right before my eyes he has become a little boy. He is no longer a little toddler...kind of sad! I had a little emotional moment with him on Friday when it hit me how old he was getting. He told me he would pray to God to not let him get any bigger! So sweet and innocent!

He is finally getting tall and actually taller than a few of his friends now. He still has quite an imagination and is always coming up with something wild to do or say. His latest creative outlet is with scotch tape! He tapes his little chairs together to make a train, and tapes anything and everything to different toys. Really quite entertaining to see what he has taped together! I'll have to post some pictures of it. He loves riding his scoot bike and his riding tractor outside. He is starting to play with Lily more and it is so precious for me to watch!

He still cracks me up with some of his funny phrases and words. Here are a couple of his latest that I can remember. Asking me to do him a favorite, meaning a favor. Saying he wants to read a motion, meaning a devotion. He often says "no I amit" meaning no I'm not. Asking for "erections" to his friends house, meaning directions! And he is always praying for Lily not to throw up...really sweet but kind of sad he thinks he has to pray that all the time!:-) Oh, and thanks to his dad, he is calling me Hollywood all the time!

We celebrated his birthday yesterday with doughnuts for breakfast and a mini cake for lunch. He is having his birthday party at the local bowling alley with his friends from school this Friday. That should be really interesting! I will definitely post pictures from that!

Bath time

Bath tub Lily...
I don't have much to update as far as Lily's tests went. She did pretty well considering she went almost 15 hours without eating or drinking. Hoping to get some results from the doctor tomorrow, maybe??? Will keep you posted. Thanks so much for your prayers and for thinking of us today.



Please continue to pray for our friend's little boy whose surgery is now on Wednesday as well as our former pastor's surgery is also on Wednesday. Thanks.

busy week...more prayers needed

I wanted to first thank you for your words of encouragement and prayers. I truly appreciate it and definitely felt them. I woke up Tuesday with much more energy and confidence than before. Lily has had a better week also. She only threw up 3 out of the 7 days this week which was a Huge improvement. So tomorrow is a big day for her. She is having an upper GI series and also an abdominal ultrasound at 9:45am. I am just praying for some clarity. If there is something wrong then we will face it and deal with it. If they find nothing, then we will have a peace of mind that at least that area is OK and we will move on to find another possible cause.

This is also a busy week for a lot of people as far as prayer requests go. I wanted to share them with you. Please pray for my mom who has had 2 back surgeries and is going back to the doctor tomorrow because she is still suffering with a lot of pain. Please pray for knowledge for the doctor and that she will get some answers.

Also, our former pastor from Cleveland, Ms, has prostate cancer and is having surgery Wednesday to remove it. He and His family are very special to us and provided us with much guidance and support. Please pray everything goes smoothly and that he is cancer free after the surgery.

On Tuesday, another friend from auburn's son is having major surgery. His name is Jackson steed. Please pray for everything to go perfectly and that he will recover quickly and be free of problems.

And finally my dear sweet friend Amy in Texas had a small heart attack this week. She is only 35! She has MS but they don't know/think they are related. She is home now and doing well. We are planning to go to Houston this Wednesday so we will get to see her. Please pray that she recovers fully and quickly.

Wow, that is a lot! But nothing is too big for our God. This week while so many things were going on and I was worried about Amy, the song from when I was little popped into my head. "My God is so big, so strong and so mighty, there's nothing my God cannot do for you, and you, and you..."How true it is! Thanks for being so faithful to pray for us! May He bless you for it! Have a great Monday!

Needing to vent...

Thanks for your support, encouragement and prayers for us lately. I am so desperate for them right now. Lily had a much better start to the day and I was hopeful that maybe we were starting to turn the corner, but that hope was shattered when she threw up all of her dinner while she was still in her chair. no warning signs, no apparent reason, and she hadn't even eaten that much. Then before bed she threw up her whole bottle. ARGH.... I am so frustrated and feel so helpless i just don't even know what to do any more but cry or scream or something in between.

I am just so scared that we might be missing something or that something i am doing, giving her is making her worse. I am keeping a detailed journal of everything she eats, drinks, etc... and can't find any connections so far. I think what is eating me up is that in the back of my mind I am doubting. Something that I really have never admitted is that way back in my mind I'm just waiting for something bad to happen with her. I feel like since she didn't have any of the major issues that she should have had as a micro preemie that something is going to come up later. And I hate that I even think that. That I am even allowing myself to doubt that our amazing gracious God that healed Lily's tiny 1lb 6oz. body would not continue to heal her now. The thing that I told everyone that asked me how we made it through those tough 4 months in the NICU is that I never doubted. I never once doubted that God was going to heal and grow our precious baby girl and I never doubted that I would bring her home with me. And i feel like now I am doubting by not being able to let go of this and trust that God is in control. It exposes my weakened faith and makes me even more frustrated and reveals my so real and sinful human nature.

I know this may not seem like such a big deal to many of you. What's the big deal with a little vomit? But it is such a physical problem. Every time she vomits it is physical. the disgusting mess I have to clean up. Seeing the distress on her face and watching her cry each time. Washing clothes, sheets, car seat covers, towels, etc... every day lately is a physical reminder of the problem. And now there is no doubt that it is effecting her weight. Which lets be honest, has totally consumed me from the beginning. I have had enough. I actually had enough 4 months ago. But with each new week there would be a little glimmer of hope if we went a few days without being sick and then it would start all over again.

Sorry to vent but this was my therapy when she was in the hospital and I just had to get it out. I know poor Greg who is traveling every week this month is exhausted listening to me and worried himself. I just needed to get this out. I am praying that God would help me get through my unbelief and help me to be patient once again in Him. And that I would daily be reminded of the undeserving mercy and grace that He has already shown me.

Please pray for my patience, for energy, for knowledge to know when to notify the doctors, for strength to be a good mommy to not only Lily but also to Thomas. This is definitely effecting the amount of time I am spending with him as well. pray that she will get better and be able to keep food and liquid down and that somehow she will at least maintain her weight. I also pray that like before in the end this will just be another tool for me to witness to others how good and loving our God really is. I pray for all of you and pray that God meets your needs as well and blesses each of you beyond how you have blessed me.

Rough week!

Thomas being silly sitting in Lily's swing

Lily, checking out her muddy hands...

Lily took a face dive while playing outside...she was quite muddy but didn't seem to mind!

It was so nice to finally get outside yesterday! Can't wait for spring!

Lily, running, talking...

Well, where do I start...Lily has had a pretty rough week this past week. On Tuesday she fell down about 15 wood steps and ended up in the ER. Everything thankfully checked out OK and she appeared to be fine with no major bumps or bruises. It was definitely apparent that Lily's special angel was with her that day.

However her problems now are with her "reflux". I put it in quotes because we have no idea if this is what is causing the problems. She has definitely had reflux in the past especially when she was much younger. Over the past 5 months or so she has been having random episodes of projectile vomiting. Until recently, I could somewhat associate it with something or at least have a good guess as to what might have caused it. The car ride, too much at one meal, getting too upset, getting choked, etc... But this past week it has been even more vomiting then before and much more random. And when I say vomiting, i mean that she completely empties her entire stomach with force each and every time. It is not simply spitting up on a bib, or maybe changing an outfit, it is everything everywhere! We went to the pediatric gastroenterologist this past Thursday. He seems to think that it is mostly from her reflux but also ordered some xrays to make sure there isn't a physical problem, etc. As of right now those aren't scheduled until March 18th! Well after vomiting multiple consecutive times Thursday, very unlike her, and vomiting every day last week and this weekend. I've finally had enough. It seems to be effecting her appetite and definitely her weight, which is already much less for babies her age.

So, I am telling you all of this to ask you to pray for us. I am very anxious over what could be causing this and am so over hearing similar stories, advice, etc...so I need patience in that area.:-) Please pray that first the vomiting will decrease, her appetite and liquid amounts will increase, and that when I call the doctor tomorrow they will move her xrays up and do them this week. Also please pray for my anxiety level. I know deep down that God is in control and that He will fulfill His promise to heal her completely, but I can't shake the worried feelings I have or the need to fix the problems or be able to have an answer for them all. Greg is also traveling again this week, so I pray that we have a good event free week while he is away.

More snow, sledding, and snowmen

This is what we did all afternoon today...sled down the hills and then Thomas would always get a ride back up...notice the look on my face! I was pooped! Great way to work out!

This cracks me up!


Thomas had a blast today!

Love it!

Our first family snowman...don't judge! :-)

Thomas' snow angel

So cute!

Pulling his little sis!

This is hilarious! Thomas wanted to sled by himself...we had no idea he would go sooo fast! We did have someone down the hill to catch him, thank goodness! There is a lake at the bottom of the hill!